Oh Brother
You got your first job. Happy for you. Today is your third day working, you late! And you take it on us, your family.
Now that’s a bit harsh. Fool you got Monday thru Friday to wash your uniform. Why wait til an hour before u start work to wash the load of clothes??
Oh right, you too busy M-F playing video Games.
Look, the way I see it is take a chill pill. Not really but I mean just chill.
Look at me! I’m gonna be fucken 22 next Saturday. Half my life has gone by so fast. Haven’t done much with it because well we have twin sisters that require special needs. And since we are Hispanic. Guess who has ALL the responsibility? Yup me. This chick, bc unfortunately or fortunately I was born first. Well actually I was the one who survived first. Do I just wanna give up. Hell yeah. But I don’t. I have Faith. A bit but I do. U don’t know what’s it like to be me.
To wanna do things and can’t because I have that big responsibility of taking care of the twins. Everyday I cry myself to bed. Yup every damn day! I tell myself is this really why I was born??
To just be at home swallowing all the pain, be friendless.. Just be a damn LoNer?
And to this day. Still no answer. Yeah there’s days I just wanna die. But Psh that never happens. Even when I’m so close, something prevents me from dieying. And I’m not saying I’m suicidal. Just everyday accidents out there. I get safe it’s always the cars behind me thr get into accidents.
All I’m trying to say here is fool you got it easy. You got friends u can go out and have fun, and now u got a job. and I kinda envy that about your life.
But what do I do??? Suck it up and continue with life. Hoping one day it’ll change. Just hoping for crying out loud it’ll change one day. That’s it!
My Pal this is for you ;)
So I’m just thinking about that moment. You know, forget it. I’m not planning anything special for your return. I’m going to let destiny do ALL the WORK. If its meant it’s meant if not. I still love you like my good looking buddy :)
Three months dude three freaken long months without your randomness and our random arguments. Miss those the most haha. But you’re almost back ;)
Can’t wait for April 6. And the following day my Birthday.
Mindful?
It sure sucks to be me right now. I honestly can say I have no true friends. Heck in reality I’m alone in this world. That’s how I feel.. There I’ve let it out of my system.
Always been alone throughout my life. I’m sick to my stomach of my always crying. Tired of playing the role of mom and dad since I was 10/11.
Now I don’t really hate my brothers and sisters for that. Don’t get me wrong here. The only person to be hated on here is me. Yes, u read it right… ME.
Now why me? Because I’m a grown up now and I’m still here taking care of them. 21 years, and basically already have kids that aren’t really mine. Don’t know if u get that. But it doesn’t matter if u do.
Twins with special needs. Now that is hard. Sometimes I just really wish I could disappear for a day. All I ask is a peaceful day. Sunny warm beachy day. That is my paradise.
I can go on and on.. But not really in the mood of letting go of everything inside of my mind. All I really need right now is music. Music is my all time therapy with the shitty life I’m living.
Music rarely disappoints me. And when it does.. I just go back to the old music I enjoyed. And heck of it was great music it should live on for ever right?
Even if the majority of groups don’t exist anymore.. RBD for instance.. That one just popped to my mind. But I’m pretty sure the list is way longer than one group.
My Marine Guy
So yeah he left today we didn’t have a chance
To say our
Good byes. At least he called and said hey I’m on my way to boot camp.
I just wanna say take care and be careful see you in a few
Months. Aww broke my 💔 and it made me wanna cry. But I was with someone and driving so I couldn’t really talk. I wanted to say so much, but unfortunately I couldn’t. But I’ll be waiting for
Your return babe.
